Insights & Support

One of the things I often see around addiction is shame. People can feel ashamed of what they are doing, ashamed that they can't seem to stop, and ashamed that they have allowed things to reach this point. Sometimes that shame can become so strong that they hide what is happening from everyone around them. They may continue going to work. They may maintain their relationships. They may appear confident and capable. But privately, they can be struggling with something they fee

When Addiction Doesn't Look Like Addiction When we think about addiction, we often have a very specific image in our minds. Someone whose life has completely fallen apart. Someone who has lost their job, their relationships or their ability to function. But addiction doesn't always look like that. In my work as a psychotherapist, I think it's important to recognise that someone can be functioning very well on the outside while struggling significantly on the inside. They can

I think it is important to be careful about how we talk about addiction. Not every habit is an addiction. Not every person who drinks is dependent on alcohol. Not everyone who gambles has a gambling problem. And using something to help us cope with stress doesn't automatically mean we have an addiction. But sometimes, a behaviour that began as a way of coping can gradually become something different. The question can become less about whether the behaviour is helping us and m

One of the things I find particularly interesting is the gap between what we know and what we actually do. Most of us have behaviours that we know aren't necessarily good for us. We might stay up too late, work when we should be resting, keep checking our phone, avoid difficult conversations, spend money when we're stressed, drink more than we intended to, or constantly distract ourselves when we are feeling uncomfortable. Often, we already know that these behaviours aren't h

As a psychotherapist, I often think about the ways we learn to cope with difficult periods in our lives. We all have ways of dealing with stress. Some of us exercise. Some talk to friends. Some keep busy. Others watch television, scroll through their phones, have a drink, go shopping, work longer hours or simply try to distract themselves from what is going on. None of these things are necessarily problematic. In fact, having ways to give ourselves a break from stress can be

I often meet people who have been carrying a great deal of stress for a long time. Sometimes that stress comes from work. Sometimes it's family responsibilities, financial pressure, relationship difficulties or the feeling that there are simply too many things demanding their attention. Often, it's a combination of all of them. When we are under pressure for long enough, most of us will start looking for some form of relief. That might be completely harmless. We might watch t

I often meet people who don't necessarily describe themselves as stressed. Instead, they might tell me that they're tired. Irritable. Struggling to sleep. Finding it difficult to concentrate. Or simply feeling that they don't quite feel like themselves anymore. What I often find is that stress isn't always coming from one place. Someone may be dealing with pressure at work while also worrying about a family member. They may be managing a demanding career alongside raising chi

I often meet people who have worked incredibly hard to build the life and career they have. They've invested years into their profession. They've made sacrifices, taken on responsibility and worked towards promotions, qualifications and financial security. Their career is important to them, and understandably so. But sometimes, without us fully realising it, work can become more than simply something we do. It can become part of who we believe we are. When success becomes par

In my work as a psychotherapist, I often come across people who find it surprisingly difficult to rest. They may have finished work for the day. There are no urgent emails to answer and nothing that immediately needs their attention. Yet instead of feeling relaxed, they feel guilty. They might be watching television, spending time with their family or simply sitting down, but there's a voice in the back of their mind telling them they should be doing something else. Checking

In my work as a psychotherapist, I often meet people who are incredibly capable. They are successful, driven and used to getting things done. They have built careers they can be proud of and are often the people others rely on. Yet some of the people who appear to be coping the best can be the ones struggling the most internally. One of the things I find particularly interesting is that the qualities that have helped someone become successful can sometimes contribute to burno

One thing I often hear from people I work with is that their weekend doesn't really feel like a weekend. Friday evening might bring a sense of relief, but by Sunday afternoon or evening, their mood begins to change. They start thinking about Monday. The emails waiting for them. The meetings they have coming up. The deadlines they haven't quite finished preparing for. The conversations they know they need to have. Nothing has actually happened yet, but they can already feel th

The Psychology of Always Being “On” In my work as a psychotherapist, I often hear people describe a feeling that is difficult to put into words. They aren't necessarily unhappy with their job. They may actually enjoy what they do and have worked hard to get where they are. But they feel like they are never really off. There is always another email, another message, another deadline or another problem that needs attention. Even when they're away from their desk, their mind is

In my work as a psychotherapist, stress is something I come across regularly. People often come to see me when they feel overwhelmed, exhausted or simply unable to keep going at the pace they've been maintaining. What I find interesting is that many people don't initially describe themselves as stressed. They'll tell me they're "just tired", that work has been busy, or that they've got a lot going on at the moment. Sometimes it takes a little time before they recognise that w

Anxiety can take many different forms. For some, it is social situations that spark fear and self-doubt. For others, the focus is on health and wellbeing - often leading to what is known as health anxiety or illness anxiety disorder. We all worry about our health from time to time. A headache might make us wonder if we’re stressed, or a persistent cough could lead us to check in with our GP. These responses are normal. But for people living with health anxiety, these worries

In my work I sometimes meet people who tell me that they've just come back from a holiday, yet they still feel exhausted. They may have spent a week or two away from work. They've had time away from emails, meetings, deadlines and the daily pressure of their job. And yet, within a few days of returning, they feel exactly as they did before. Sometimes, they can even feel frustrated with themselves. They think, "I've just had a break. Why don't I feel better?" For me, this is o