How to Know When Stress Is Starting to Affect Your Mental Health

I often meet people who don't necessarily describe themselves as stressed.

Instead, they might tell me that they're tired.

Irritable.

Struggling to sleep.

Finding it difficult to concentrate.

Or simply feeling that they don't quite feel like themselves anymore.

What I often find is that stress isn't always coming from one place.

Someone may be dealing with pressure at work while also worrying about a family member.

They may be managing a demanding career alongside raising children.

They may be experiencing difficulties in a relationship while trying to meet financial responsibilities.

Or perhaps there are simply too many things happening at once.

Individually, each pressure may feel manageable.

But together, they can begin to take their toll.

When everything starts to build up

One of the difficulties with stress is that it can build gradually.

We adapt.

We get on with things.

We tell ourselves that we just need to get through this week, this month or this particular situation.

And often, we do.

But then something else happens.

Another responsibility.

Another problem.

Another person who needs something from us.

Before long, we can find ourselves carrying far more than we originally realised.

Because we're still functioning, it can be easy to assume that we're coping.

But functioning and feeling well aren't always the same thing.

When stress starts affecting other areas of your life

One of the things I often encourage people to think about is how far the stress is spreading.

Perhaps the pressure starts at work, but you're bringing it home with you.

You become more irritable with your partner or family.

You don't have the energy to see friends.

You struggle to sleep because your mind is constantly going over everything you need to deal with.

Or perhaps family pressures are affecting your concentration and ability to function at work.

The different areas of our lives don't exist separately.

What happens in one area can affect another.

Over time, stress can begin to take up more and more psychological space.

The signs aren't always obvious

Many people expect stress to look dramatic.

They imagine reaching a point where they suddenly can't cope anymore.

But often, the signs can be much more subtle.

You may become less patient.

More emotional.

More withdrawn.

You may start cancelling plans or avoiding people because you simply don't have the energy.

Things you normally enjoy can begin to feel like another obligation.

You might also find yourself relying more heavily on alcohol, food, technology, work or other behaviours as a way of switching off or getting some temporary relief.

These changes don't necessarily mean that something is seriously wrong with you.

They may simply be signs that you have been carrying too much for too long.

What is the stress trying to tell you?

This is a question I think can be useful to consider.

Rather than seeing stress as something we simply need to push through, what happens if we become curious about it?

What is causing me to feel this way?

How long have I been carrying this level of pressure?

Am I giving myself any opportunity to recover?

And am I trying to manage everything on my own?

Psychotherapy can provide a space to slow things down and look at the different pressures affecting your life.

For me, it's not about removing every source of stress. That's rarely realistic.

It's about understanding what you're carrying, how it's affecting you and whether the way you're currently coping is sustainable.

Sometimes stress is your mind and body telling you that something needs attention.

You don't always have to wait until you reach breaking point to listen.