Why a Holiday Doesn't Always Fix Burnout

In my work I sometimes meet people who tell me that they've just come back from a holiday, yet they still feel exhausted.

They may have spent a week or two away from work.

They've had time away from emails, meetings, deadlines and the daily pressure of their job.

And yet, within a few days of returning, they feel exactly as they did before.

Sometimes, they can even feel frustrated with themselves.

They think, "I've just had a break. Why don't I feel better?"

For me, this is one of the important differences between being tired and being burnt out.

When we're simply tired, rest can often make a significant difference.

But burnout can be more complicated.

Rest can give us a break from the pressure, but it doesn't necessarily change what is waiting for us when we return.

When the problem comes home with you

Sometimes the issue isn't just the number of hours someone is working.

It can be the way they have learned to relate to work.

I've worked with people who can physically leave their job behind for a week or two, but mentally, they never completely switch off.

They continue checking emails.

They think about what will be waiting for them when they return.

They feel guilty for not being productive.

Or they start mentally preparing for the workload that is waiting.

So although they may be sitting on a beach or somewhere completely different, psychologically they are still carrying the pressure with them.

The holiday changes the location.

But it doesn't necessarily change the pattern.

What happens when you return?

Another thing I often see is that people return from a holiday feeling slightly better, only to go straight back into exactly the same routine.

The long hours begin again.

The emails build up.

The pressure returns.

The boundaries disappear.

And before long, they are back to feeling exactly as they did before they left.

This isn't because the holiday was pointless.

Rest is important.

But if nothing changes about the way we are living, working or coping, the relief can sometimes be temporary.

Looking beneath the exhaustion

This is where I think psychotherapy can offer something different.

Rather than simply focusing on how to recover from exhaustion, it can provide a space to explore what may be contributing to it.

Why do you find it difficult to say no?

Why do you feel guilty when you're not working?

Why does slowing down make you uncomfortable?

What expectations are you placing on yourself?

And what do you believe would happen if you stopped pushing as hard?

Sometimes burnout isn't simply caused by having too much to do.

Sometimes it is also connected to the pressure we place on ourselves and the beliefs we have developed about success, achievement and our own value.

For me, psychotherapy isn't about telling someone to stop being ambitious or walk away from a successful career.

It's about understanding whether the way you are currently living is sustainable.

Because a holiday can give you space to breathe.

But if the life you're returning to is the thing that is exhausting you, eventually something has to change.

Rest can help you recover.

Understanding yourself can help you understand why you became exhausted in the first place.