Why Men Struggle to Open Up And What It Has to Do with Attachment

Suicide Is The Biggest Killer Of Men Under The Age Of 50

It's 17th of June and it's still Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month. It's a chance to talk about something many men live with quietly: how hard it can be to ask for help, open up emotionally, or feel close to others. A big part of this often comes down to what’s known as attachment styles - the emotional blueprints we form early in life.

If you grew up in a home where emotions weren’t talked about, or where you had to “be strong” and “just get on with it,” you may have learned to shut your feelings down. Over time, this can lead to what we call an avoidant attachment style - where independence becomes a shield, and asking for help feels uncomfortable or even wrong. For many men, that’s the default.

Others might have grown up with uncertainty or inconsistency from caregivers - leading to anxious attachment, where you might feel insecure in relationships, fear being left, or swing between closeness and withdrawal. These patterns don’t just affect relationships - they shape how we handle stress, talk about emotions, and whether we feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

These invisible habits can contribute to real mental health challenges like:

🔸Anxiety or depression

🔸Burnout from trying to do it all alone

🔸Addictive habits as a way to cope

🔸Struggling to connect in relationships

🔸Bottling up emotions until they boil over

The truth is, many men never got the tools to deal with emotions - not because they failed, but because they were never taught how.

As a male counsellor and psychotherapist, I work with men to untangle these patterns, using therapies like inner child work, attachment-focused therapy, and addiction recovery approaches. Together, we explore your past experiences and how they’re still shaping your life today - and we begin to build something healthier and more secure.

If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Support is available, and change is absolutely possible.

Visit us here to find out more or arrange a consultation.