Understanding the Deep Impact of Shame on the Mind, Body, and Self-Worth

"Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it – it can't survive being shared." - Brené Brown

Shame is not just an emotion - it's an experience that embeds itself into the body, mind, and identity. Unlike guilt, which arises from specific actions, shame is a sense of being fundamentally flawed or unworthy. It doesn’t whisper “I did something bad,” but rather, “I am bad.”

When left unaddressed, shame doesn't sit quietly in the background. It shows up in how we carry ourselves, how we think, and how we relate to others - and often, how we try to cope.

"We need never be ashamed of our tears" - Charles Dickens

Physical Manifestations of Shame

Shame doesn’t only reside in the mind; it lives in the body. Many people experience physical symptoms such as:

🔹Tension in the shoulders or chest

🔹Averted eye contact

🔹Digestive issues or gut discomfort

🔹Shallow breathing or fatigue

🔹A sense of shrinking or wanting to disappear

These bodily responses are often automatic, developed in early life when shame first took root.

Emotional and Mental Impacts

Shame can generate:

🔹Persistent feelings of worthlessness

🔹Harsh self-criticism and internalised negativity

🔹Depression, anxiety, or emotional numbness

🔹Difficulty trusting others or forming close bonds

🔹Fear of being seen or judged

It often works silently, shaping our internal world and reinforcing negative core beliefs like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve happiness.”

Shame and Its Link to Addiction and Low Self-Esteem

To escape the pain of shame, many turn to coping mechanisms - alcohol, substances, work, food, shopping, or other compulsions. Addiction, in many cases, is not the problem itself, but a survival strategy to manage deep, unresolved emotional wounds.

Shame also distorts self-worth. It keeps people locked in cycles of comparison, perfectionism, or isolation - often believing they must earn value or hide their struggles.

A Path Towards Healing

Working through shame is possible. It requires gentle exploration, compassion, and a safe therapeutic space where your story can be unpacked and your worth rebuilt - not through perfection, but through acceptance and understanding.

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone. This is work I specialise in - helping clients reconnect with themselves, let go of the burdens of shame, and reclaim a sense of peace, connection, and confidence.

Visit here to learn more or to reach out.

Let's Find Calm together.