Understanding Grief: The Five Stages and the Human Experience of Loss

Grief is a deeply personal, yet universal experience. Whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, a life transition, or even the loss of identity, the emotional response can be overwhelming and unpredictable.

At my practice in Canary Wharf, I often sit with clients navigating this complex terrain of loss. Grief doesn’t follow a straight line. It isn’t something we simply “get over.” Instead, it’s something we move through - often in waves, and often revisiting old ground along the way.

The Five Stages of Grief, developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, offer a helpful framework, not as a rulebook, but as a reflection of common emotional states many people experience:

🔹Denial – A protective mechanism. “This isn’t really happening.” Denial softens the immediate shock.

🔹Anger – Often misunderstood, anger is a natural response to feeling powerless or abandoned.

🔹Bargaining – “If only I had done more…” We search for meaning and try to regain control.

🔹Depression – A deeper sadness may set in as the reality of the loss fully lands.

🔹Acceptance – Not about being ‘okay’ with what happened, but acknowledging the truth of it and starting to find new ways to live.

It’s important to remember that these stages don’t unfold neatly or sequentially. Many people move back and forth between them, and some may skip stages altogether. Grief is non-linear, layered, and uniquely shaped by our individual histories.

Unprocessed grief can also resurface in unexpected ways: burnout, anxiety, low mood, avoidance, or even addictive patterns. For men in particular, western cultural expectations to "stay strong" can delay or complicate the grieving process.

As a therapist, my role is to help create space for that grief to be expressed, understood, and held safely. Whether you’re facing fresh loss or carrying something older that still aches, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Grief touches us all, including myself on many occasions. I always find comfort in the fact that - yes, grief comes in waves but so does joy and happiness too.

In the coming posts, I’ll explore more about grief’s impact on identity, relationships, and emotional health - and how counselling can help us integrate loss in a way that honours our experience and reconnects us to life.

Visit us Here to explore further or get in touch if you’d like support.