Healing Attachment Wounds Through IFS and Inner Child Therapy
- letsfindcalm
- May 21
- 2 min read
Attachment theory helps us understand one of the most important questions in therapy and in life: How safe do I feel being close to others - and to myself?
Our earliest relationships, especially with parents or caregivers, shape how we connect with others, regulate our emotions, and form a sense of self. When these early attachments are disrupted—through neglect, inconsistency, trauma, or emotional absence—we often carry those wounds into adulthood.
As a therapist working with addiction, trauma, and inner child healing, I’ve seen how powerful it is to integrate Attachment Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Inner Child Therapy in helping clients reconnect with themselves and others.
Understanding Attachment Wounds
If a child doesn’t receive consistent emotional safety or care, they may learn to:
🔹Suppress their needs (avoidant attachment)
🔹Become anxious and overly dependent on approval (anxious attachment)
🔹Or feel unsafe in all relationships (disorganised attachment)
These patterns often live on in adulthood - and in the parts of us that were shaped during those early years.
How IFS and Inner Child Work Help
IFS therapy views the mind as made up of "parts" - sub-personalities that take on roles to protect us. When attachment wounds occur in childhood, vulnerable parts (often our “inner child”) become exiled, holding fear, shame, or longing. Meanwhile, other protective parts step in to manage or suppress that pain.
In people struggling with addiction, these protective parts may use substances, control, avoidance, or self-criticism to keep the exile hidden. Over time, this inner system becomes strained and conflicted.
Inner Child Therapy adds a compassionate lens to this work - by helping clients reconnect with the younger self that was hurt, abandoned, or misunderstood. When this wounded child part is finally seen, heard, and loved within therapy, deep healing becomes possible.
Integrating Attachment Repair into Therapy
Healing isn’t just about insight—it’s about new emotional experiences. Through IFS and Inner Child work, clients begin to:
🔹Develop secure internal attachment with their parts
🔹Respond to themselves with compassion instead of shame
🔹Build emotional safety in relationships outside of therapy
The therapist-client relationship also plays a key role - it becomes a safe and attuned space where new relational experiences can unfold. Over time, clients learn to trust not only others, but their own inner voice again.
Final Thoughts
Attachment wounds run deep - but they are not fixed. With the right support, the parts of you that once felt unwanted or unsafe can begin to soften, speak, and heal.
As an experienced addiction counsellor and psychotherapist, I help clients explore these inner dynamics at a gentle pace - bringing together the science of attachment, the clarity of IFS, and the warmth of inner child healing.
Let’s find calm, and reconnect with the parts of you that need it most.
Marcus Scutt
Integrative Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Comments