Navigating Grief: Understanding Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning

Grief is not a linear process. It doesn't follow a strict timeline, nor does it conform to expectations. Each person experiences grief differently, shaped by the nature of the loss, past experiences, personal beliefs, and the support they have around them.

While Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief are widely known, William J. Worden’s model - the Four Tasks of Mourning - offers a different and equally powerful framework for understanding how we can actively work through grief.

Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning:

1. Accept the Reality of the Loss

This first task can be deceptively difficult. Whether the loss is sudden or expected, it can take time to fully grasp that someone we love is no longer here. Denial or disbelief may linger. Psychotherapy can help individuals gently face this reality in a safe, supported environment.

2. To Work Through the Pain of Grief

Many people are conditioned to suppress pain - especially emotional pain. We often hear phrases like “stay strong” or “move on,” but unprocessed grief can show up later as anxiety, depression, burnout, or addiction. Therapy creates a space to feel, express, and move through that pain, rather than carrying it silently.

3. To Adjust to a World Without the Deceased

This stage is both external (adjusting routines, roles, finances) and internal (shifting identity, finding new meaning). For some, this may involve renegotiating their role within a family or rediscovering personal values. It’s a period of deep change, and support can be vital as individuals rebuild their lives.

4. To Find an Enduring Connection While Moving Forward

This isn’t about forgetting the person who has died but rather finding a meaningful, lasting bond while continuing to live. It may look like rituals, memories, storytelling, or finding purpose in their honour. This stage supports integration - bringing the loss into one’s life in a way that allows for growth and peace.

To support these stages, I often reference the T.E.A.R. acronym:

T – To accept the reality of the loss

E – Experience the pain of the loss

A – Adjust to the new environment

R – Reinvest in a new reality while maintaining a healthy connection to the past

Why Counselling and Psychotherapy Matter

Grief can feel isolating, overwhelming, or even shameful - especially when those around us struggle to understand. Counselling offers a confidential space to talk openly, explore the emotional and psychological impacts of loss, and begin healing at your own pace.

As an integrative psychotherapist, I draw on various therapeutic approaches - including inner child work, attachment theory, and person-centred practice - to support individuals through their unique grief journey.

Whether your grief is recent or something that’s resurfaced from the past, support is available. You don’t have to navigate it alone.

If you’re struggling with grief, loss, or change, reach out - I’m here to help.

To learn more or to book a consultation, visit here